just a lil update

Okay, haven't updated for a while, so we'll go back to wednesday :)
1. Received birthday package from family. Included:

• microwave cake and box of candles hehe :) as well as microwave brownies ... the miracle of technology :)
• A meowing card from little brother with hidden best buy gift card ... gotta love the working brother :)
• mail, cream of mushroom soup, and tons of lil gummy snacks :)

1. Went to como zoo, and was seriously impressed considering it's a free zoo. Actually had giraffes and zebras, unlike the minnesota zoo that i paid for a membership to. Weather wasn't so nice, but I made friends with a tiger :)
3. Ordered chinese and actually picked it up ... had never driven through midtown so it was about time.
4. Relaxed and stayed in with a movie, enjoyed my chinese:) First birthday I had all to myself, was different, but thoroughly enjoyed it. Appreciated all the text messages and facebook wall posts, as well as the calls :)

Thursday:
1. Got up at 5 am to start/finish paper for presentation due by 2 pm :) Was successful
2. Worked, then crashed

Friday:
1. Worked in Men's Polo all day
2. Saw a guy from Kuwait that looked like Aladdin :) Get this: his last name was Al-Ali! He was so Aladdin, one of my favorite disney characters :) Almost told him, but wasn't sure if he would take offense to the disney reference or to his country ...
3. Met with Brandy for some photos on the playground at the park

Saturday:
1. Worked in Polo once again
2. found a shirt in the men's section ... love it so i bought it :)
3. Teja forced me to try on heels ... a pair of bright red mary jane's :) felt like a girl, but actually liked them ... must think about buying one nice pair of girl shoes
4. Shot Teja in the studio, so much fun, and the pictures came out beautifully :) such a nice smile
5. Went to a coffee shop in Uptown ... really amazing chai tea and beautiful inside ... and met this guy there ... really cute, nice, cool ... we'll see :)
6. Went to this comedy club/ show Comedy Sportz, and my face hurt by the end from laughing so hard

Today:
Planned to go to St Paul cathedral this morning, but waaaayyyyy overslept, whoops :)
Got to the darkroom around 2:30 to develop what film I've got so far ...

Have been wondering about catholicism lately. Luther never really intended to break up the church ... lived and died catholic. We base our denomination on his teaching, but overall and deep down to his inner core, he remained Catholic his entire life ... so what's the difference? Other than purgatory, I don't know any major disagreements I have with what I know to be Catholic views.

I've always been a lutheran, but I've found out recently that some of the stances I take on certain things I can't find what exactly our church's view is, but I know it aligns with the Catholic Church.

"And I say to thee. thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it." Matthew 16:18

Didn't Peter ultimately start the Catholic church? So doesn't that mean that ultimately Catholicism is the Church that everything led to? There was break-off after Luther, but when you think about it ... it's a circle cycle. The problems Luther had with the church aren't around anymore, so why not go back to the church Jesus built upon Peter?

Was just talking with someone the other day about beliefs and views, and she called me a catholic in protestant disguise. Apparently they're just called terms and words I never knew so I didn't know we believed the same thing :) Brings me back to my lutheran/ catholic debates from jr year at muskingum :) good memories

are we the same people we've always been?

Finally finished the grueling book at work the other day! It's wasn't necessarily a bad book, I just didn't enjoy it as much as others and started it looking forward to a german writing style and was given a Swiss. Homo Faber, I"m finally done! Only problem arises considering I've read every book in my apartment and don't when I'll get home again to stock up on my list. School library solves the problem, woohoo!!! Just started Capote's Music for Chameleons yesterday ... was hooked from the preface! Too bad it looks like I'll get through this one in record time ... unlike the 3 months of work breaks to get through a book I didn't thoroughly enjoy. Just can't not finish a book ... have to know how it ends so I know not to read it again if it was completely repulsing.

One thing I've been wondering for a few days ... Are we the same people we were in High School? Everyone talks about maturing and growing into a new person when they start the journey into adulthood ... but how much do we actually change? Even as adults, we still have the cliques: the people with money, the drama folks, the artist/musicians, the stoners, the lazy crowd, the overachievers, and even those of us who still puddle jump between them. We just start to second-guess ourselves. Is an abundance of independence that supposedly builds character only holding us back? I've realized recently that I'm reluctant to rely on others anymore. Do we rely too much on ourselves to feel content and with self-worth. As far as building character ... I've had enough character for quite some time. Besides the fact that I've learned a buttload of random facts and know how to accomplish things through past trial and error ... I"m not one step away from the person I've always been. I'm still the quirky wierd one who for some strange reason is found to be interesting randomly. Perhaps the only major change is that I think with a bit more cynicism than in the past. It's like I'm inwardly cynical of ideas and thoughts that I've always supported and held onto as well as being more self-critical. We learn from our past failures, but are we learning the right things from them? Or are we just observing, doomed to make only different mistakes by assuming the failure was based on error. It's like we're building a tower, stone by stone, but give up after the height becomes stagnant no matter how many more stones are laid. We don't bother to look around and see that our neighbor, too, is building a tower, only using the stones that we, ourselves, have laid as our own.

Rachmaninov

What is it about Rachmaninov's op18, Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor that is so mesmerizing to listen to? nice :)

oddly enough, it took me 45 minutes to find the 3 movement piece in my Rachmaninov collection ... first heard the piece back during my music major and was re-introduced to it by an Japanese drama: Nodame Cantible ... my favorite thus far :)

Also found out recently that it's not going to be feasible with classwork to go home for the big 23rd bday ... so i need to find something to do out here ... ideas ...

if you're going to san francisco

This is the baby I've been playing with this weekend. I've decided that I need to spend more time in St. Paul! Drove through St. Paul for the second time ever yesterday after meeting Mugs to take pics of the cathedral and I'm in love with a back alleyway! It just so happens to be right around the corner from Mikey's Diner, which I've finally found after meaning to go there for the past two years. Now I just need to eat there, lol. Even though it takes almost an hour to set up the camera, I'm starting to fall for the 4x5 format. You just get so much more in the photo than you can with 35mm, even medium format ... it's like magic! Hiding under a cover in order to view the grid to see through the lens is like stepping into another world. I feel like Alice meeting the cheshire cat and falling down the rabbit hole. :) Considering it's one of my favorite stories containing my favorite poem, this camera brings me into that world.

I'm thinking of going to San Francisco ... specially while flight prices are still down. I just spoke to an old friend from high school a couple days ago. Can't believe she got married! Though I can completely picture her doing so with the circumstance ... helping a gay man come into his inheritance, lol. Completely fits her. I've never been to California, and have always been drawn to it. Maybe it's the music I grew up listening to ... "If You're Going To San Francisco [Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair]". Since donating my hair a couple years ago, I've missed being able to put flowers in my braids. Maybe someday ... soon? I'd love to make that venture to the city that's inspired so many songs and artists over the years.

Oh, and here's a couple of the Schnuffel videos that I've been listening to and watching lately ... I'm addicted :)

rain :)

Walking home from work in the rain is the best I've felt in a while. It was so refreshing! I love being stuck out in the rain :) Drip, Drip, Drop, little April showers.

So I finally saw the movie "He's just not that into you" last night. I can honestly say that I've had a revelation. I'm completely and utterly, deep down and through and through, a girl. I just have to accept it! No matter what, even though I try to deny girl qualities such as drama, pettiness and over-analysis, I still have those qualities. They may be in a simpler and less complex form, but I still have "girly" qualities. Upon this realization, I feel a little hopeless, but it's okay

So I work at Macy's and today I was in Coach Handbags. I honestly cannot fathom the point of paying so much for a simple purse/ handbag. It's simply ridiculous. Oddly enough, on my break I was abducted by a friend of mine in cosmetics, so I spent a break being pampered and made-up in Shiseido products. It was like a mini-make-over :). I've discovered, that compared to this stuff, Clinique cannot even compare ... [yes, I do take part in the girly ritual of cleansing and caring for my skin, so sue me] I also thought it was cool, because I always heard the name in the credits of the asian dramas I watch all the time, so it was cool to finally try it. The Japanese really know their stuff as far as products. Cameras, electronics, skin care, food, entertainment ... just send me there already, come on! Though for the last hour or so of my shift, I was sent to men's fragrances, like I know anything about that. I did, however, finally find an aftershave/cologne combo that doesn't smell horrid ... might get it for dad for father's day/bday since they're right next to each other. Versache has made a decent smell for men that doesn't make me gag [like most men's cologne that I can't stand]. It even has a hint of citrus lemon, and doesn't over-power.

mozart = beautiful music

So I realized that I haven't listened to classical music for quite some time until this week. And I really miss it. Tonight, since I have a bunch of things to do around my apartment, I put on the movie Amadeus ... music makes me happy. I actually miss analyzing music ... and now I'm as rusty as an old railroad spike that hasn't been used in quite some time. I really do want to finish my music major ...

I've decided that I have far too many interests ... passions actually. I'm passionate about far too many things, and specialization tends to bore me. It's not that I want to be in school forever, but I want to learn more about the things that I thoroughly enjoy. Then, I'll feel adequate enough to later teach it.

I've decided that I want to work freelance ... wedding, senior portraits, architecture, horticulture, engineer, etc .. photographs taken of final products, etc. That will be the way I'd like to earn a living, since teaching will definitely not pay the bills ... but It's what I want to do, so there's gotta be a way to make it work. Another fine thing about going into teaching is that I'll have summers and weekends to work on things. I've always wanted to teach.

I don't want to be in school forever, but I do want to learn things well, so that when I'm asked questions in mediums, I may be well-versed enough to give an adequate answer ... feel certified to teach well.

Listening through a collection of 100 Greatest Classics that has been my latest acquisition via the Minneapolis Public Library, I found one of my favorite pieces of all time. Oddly enough, I couldn't remember where the piece was from, what movement it was, or even a composer, so now I'm uber excited. Hey, if I ever do finish my music major, maybe I'll try to hum this one out on piano instead of the Contemporary classical style piece I'd been working on but haven't touched in 2 years...

The Piece is Henry Purcell's Rondeau from Abdelazar. I couldn't find the exact recording that made me fall in love with the piece, but here's a couple I found on Youtube.

The first was recorded by:
The Chamber Orchestra of Hartford
Fritz Mahler, conductor
...Dario Marianelli used his transcription of this piece of music for the "Pride & Prejudice" (2005) soundtrack.
Link

The Second one I found was recorded In Gabriel's Garden by Wynton Marsalis
A different sound ... though both of these recordings lack the essential harpsichord sound ... though a Fretted clavichord would make a similar sound as well ... love it!
Link